Buffy:
Hey, yo, what’s up, y’all? It’s your boo, Buffy, once again, in the fourth installment of my series, People Prevail Profit. In my last podcast, I spoke about someone who I refer to simply as My Friend. Well, today, we are talking with My Friend about their experiences in the workplace, so you get to know their actual name. Rylee, welcome. So glad to have you here. Thanks for agreeing to interview with me and for joining in on the conversation. 

Rylee:
Well, thank you for having me, Buffy, and honored to be your friend. 

Buffy:
Oh, very sweet. I’m also honored to be your friend. All right, so we’re just going to go ahead and jump right into the questions. So first and foremost, how do you identify? So I’ve talked about my identity in terms of my size, my sexual orientation, my gender, my age, my race, my disability status, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all of that, right? So please share whatever you would like to share about your identities. 

Rylee:
Yeah, my name is Rylee Junk, and I use she/her pronouns. I am a 28-year-old marketing professional working in the nonprofit healthcare sector. I identify as pansexual, bisexual, and as a cisgender woman. I am white. I currently live in Des Moines, though my hometown is in Waverly. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD, which affect my daily life, but today I want to share my experience as a fat person. 

Buffy:
All right, thank you so much. So let’s dive into that experience. First of all, what has your journey to fat acceptance and fat celebration been like for you? 

Rylee:
Yeah, my journey to fat acceptance has been challenging, to say the least. I am still working on embracing fat as a positive or at least a neutral term for myself. The word has been weaponized against me for most of my life, so reclaiming it is taking time and effort. 

Buffy:
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 100%. I can see that. It’s definitely something that’s been weaponized against most of us, right? And I think that’s why so many of us have decided that we’re going to reclaim fat as a term, right? And fat is not bad. Without fat, we wouldn’t have brains, actually. So it’s super important to have fat on your body. And to be fair, I feel like if we were ever to be stuck on a deserted island somewhere, we’d probably last a lot longer than the skinny folks. Just going to throw that out there. Just going to throw it out there. As long as we had water, obviously. If none of us had water, then we’d all die at about the same time. But at any rate, how would you say your other identities inform your experiences with fatness? 

Rylee:
Yeah. In our society, being fat isn’t always viewed negatively across the board, but the treatment of fat men, I think, differs greatly from that of fat women or fat body-presenting folk. As a fat woman myself, I am constantly reminded that I am deemed too big for this world. I’m told that I’m too big to find a loving partner, too big to succeed in my career, and I need to take up less space if I want to be treated with respect. And then as a woman with anxiety, ADHD, and especially depression, being fat can intensify my neurodivergence. The media’s messaging about what bodies are deemed worthy heavily contributes to my depression. My overall self-image can be quite low. And when my meds are not working effectively, the combination of my fatness and these harmful messages can exacerbate my depressive spirals. 

Buffy:
Yeah, that’s fair. I definitely get that. There’s definitely a difference between the way that fat men and fat women are treated. There’s a lot of evidence out there, well, a lot of research out there demonstrating that. And actually, if we’re talking about fatness and women specifically, because women are expected to take up less space in the world, meaning they’re meant to talk less, they’re meant to not be as opinionated, they’re meant to sit with their legs completely closed, right? They’re meant to be skinny. They’re meant to be small. They’re meant to not take up as much space. So if you physically take up more space than what our society has deemed, then it’s seen as a problem. So what you brought up there was really on point. I also just want to point out to our listeners who cannot see Rylee, this is a beautiful woman, okay? She’s absolutely beautiful. 

Rylee:
I love you. 

Buffy:
Just want to throw that out there. Always has been. But at any rate, thank you for sharing that. And I get it. Just when we’re talking about TV representation and whatnot, I’m just going to ask you, what have you noticed as far as fatness goes in the media and how we’re represented there? 

Rylee:
We are seen as lazy. We are seen as unworthy, especially unworthy of love. I don’t know if you’ve seen the newest season of Bridgerton, but it actually focuses on a plus size woman. And there’s been outrage about it because there’s a nude scene, but there’s been a nude scene every season, just usually with a thinner body presented. And I will at least say for me, seeing her, like seeing a fat woman be pleasured on screen was just amazing. Like, because it’s such amazing representation. It matters. 

Buffy:
Yeah. 100%. Right. And without it being a whole big thing. So I haven’t actually seen Bridgerton. So how did they, I’m just curious now, how did they go about it? Was it in the normal way where it’s like the, their partner had to convince them that they’re beautiful before they did anything? Or was it just a natural sort of progression in their relationship? Like any other relationship, like with skinny folks? 

Rylee:
She definitely had self-esteem issues. I will say, um, related to looks though. I will say it never really centered around weight. It was more looks like in the face and like stuff like that, just never felt confident in herself. So he had to help a little bit there, but the fact that they, um, cast, uh, he’s a pretty fit individual. I don’t know the best way to put it, a very small bodied individual. Yeah. Um, and he’s with this bigger woman and I’m like, heck yes. But a lot of folks are really, really not fans of it. 

Buffy:
Oh my gosh. Of course they’re not. Because in our society, when we’re talking about those with privileged identities, if they see someone without that privileged identity, they’re like, that’s not for you. I’m supposed to have that. Even if it’s fictional and you’re never going to have that person that you see on the TV, that’s just not going to happen, people. Um, I mean, it’s not impossible, but like to get possessive about it, doesn’t make any sense. 

Rylee:
But a couple of things really quick. One, I highly recommend you watch Bridgerton because it’s by Shonda Rhimes. Amazing. 

Buffy:
Oh! 

Rylee:
Second. Um, I really love that Nicola, um, who plays the main woman on this, uh, this specific season, she insisted on having a nude scene, like, and being fully nude because she knew that people would have a problem with it and she wanted to make sure she was seen. 

Buffy:
Oh my gosh. That’s amazing. That’s absolutely amazing. And we definitely need more representation in terms of fatness. And this is actually something that, um, I’ve thought about just a lot with my own experience. And it’s something that I want to study and look into more actually. Um, I, I am very curious about how you think the media and the representations of fat women in the media affect how you are seen in the workplace. And here’s what I mean by that. When it comes to black women and fems, we are expected to be the sidekicks or we’re the obstacle to overcome. That’s what it tends to be. And, in overcoming us as an obstacle, the white person, usually the white woman gets to grow, um, more and gets to learn some lesson and gets to, uh, gain more influence or gain more, whatever it is. Right. And so it’s always a zero-sum game. Either, either we are helping, um, in the background in that way, in order to help propel and push forward the career and the lives and the livelihoods of white people, or we are helping them to do that in that they have to get past us, um, and put us in our place in order to make that a thing. And I definitely think that it’s something that translates to the workplace for me, for example. So I’m just curious, do you see, um, a correlation there, or do you see, um, some parallels there when it comes to media representation and how you have experienced the world and, or the workplace specifically? 

Rylee:
Yeah, I would definitely say I see at least fat white women on TV as not being the star. Obviously, it’s got to be a skinny person regardless, um, but I see them as, like, they’re just the really fun one, never like has a romantic interest at all, but like just as fun and a sidekick. A lot of times it’ll be the person who’s the butt of the joke and I definitely see where that correlates with real life because, yeah, people will joke with and about me at work. Usually in a pretty respectful manner, so it’s not that big of a deal for me. And it’s not about my weight, but it is interesting that you bring that up because I’m… huh… I wonder if that is related at all. I’m always told I bring such a positive energy to work and stuff, but I wonder if I’m compensating for how I’m feeling. Yeah, there’s there’s a lot of ways it can definitely transfer over absolutely 

Buffy:
Yeah 100% and it’s it’s interesting that you say that you know this and this isn’t something that I’ve paid as much attention to. But you notice that white women are never like romantically inclined towards —

Rylee:
Fat white women.

Buffy:
Yes. Fat white women yes fat white women specifically, thank you for that. Don’t tend to be romantically inclined and that’s interesting because now that I’m thinking about it Yeah, I think you’re right you don’t really see That’s a lot the only example that I can think of would be in Criminal Minds. So I Can’t remember their names But Shamar Moore plays… I can’t remember his name. And then he’s like He has sort of a romantic friendship. I would say with a fat white woman, but they don’t end up together. So it still doesn’t matter. Despite the fact that they would be so good together. I was like, when is this gonna happen? And then it didn’t. So something that I definitely notice is like Sometimes the the sexuality will be there. The attraction will be there, but nothing will come of it. And then conversely when it comes to black women and fems, because black people are hypersexualized, it’s always the black fat woman or fem who is throwing themselves very dramatically and not successfully at whoever it is they’re interested in. And sometimes it can be even sort of predatory and whatnot. So it’s just, yeah. That’s an interesting point that you bring up and I appreciate you bringing that up. Have there been any setbacks when it comes to your journey to fat acceptance and celebration? 

Rylee:
Yeah, I love my mother deeply. But she created an environment during my childhood that only valued fitness. If you weren’t dieting or sucking it in you were seen as fat lazy and worthless. The emphasis on being thin still echoes in my mind whenever I approach body acceptance and celebration. I’m working to surround myself with people who view fatness and thinness as mere appearances, not reflections of our worth. Until then I practice mindfulness when I look in the mirror or talk about myself to avoid falling back into my mother’s mindset 

Buffy:
And as someone who also grew up with a mother who was very similar I can definitely understand that experience. What would you say? Like, how do you practice mindfulness and what are the triggers would you say? When do you notice your mind sliding back into that? And how do you pull yourself out of it? 

Rylee:
I’d say a good example was even just today. I went to the doctor and so I had to go on the scale and I think I gained a good 10 pounds since the last time I was there just four months ago. That didn’t feel great. And that definitely triggered something for me. I was very fortunate in that moment that the nurse that was working with me is actually a friend of mine and she talked through with me that a lot of that has to do with what my mental health has looked like recently. And that it’s not a negative thing. It’s not a bad thing to have the number on a scale go up. It just means that you’ve maybe been eating a little differently lately or been acting a little differently lately. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you’re trying to take care of yourself. It doesn’t matter what the scale number says and that can be really hard to accept sometimes 

Buffy:
Yeah 100%. I 100% Get that I think that that’s an experience that unfortunately a lot of fat people will have when it comes to the healthcare system, period, right, because there’s a lot of emphasis placed on BMI, for example, which is not real and is a racist, sexist concept that was, you know, it was conceptualized by a man who looked only at men, only at specific European men, and decided that this is what the full population should look like. And I highly recommend that listeners look this up. I’m going to go ahead and make sure that, like I have in the past podcast, in the transcript, there will be some links that you can click on so that you can learn a little bit more about BMI. But that person actually didn’t even mean for BMI to be applied to one individual. It was meant to be applied to an entire population. But I guess people who saw that decided that, huh, you know what, this isn’t racist enough. It just does not go far enough. We need to be more sexist, more racist. So we’re going to apply this to individuals specifically. And they went from there and then insurance companies picked it up, specifically life insurance companies. And because life insurance companies decided to start using it, the healthcare industry started using it. So it, I mean, it’s pseudoscience, but it’s still something that is heavily used within the healthcare system so that fatness becomes the problem the moment that you walk in through the door, right? So if I, so for example, if we, there’s something called in the trans community, we call it trans broken arm syndrome, right? Where someone will go into the doctor because they have a broken arm, but then suddenly that entire session or that entire appointment turns into a Q and A about their transness, right? And about their bodies. That’s very similar for fat people. The moment we go into the doctor, I could be talking about, ooh, I have a cough that won’t go away. The first thing they’re going to say is, okay, well, we need to look at how you’re going to lose the weight to get rid of this cough. What? What the, what? No, right? Like that doesn’t make any sense, but that is how we tend to get treated. So I am very sorry that that has been your experience. I’m also going to go ahead and point out that bodies fluctuate in weight all the time naturally. That is a natural thing. And 10 pounds in four months, like that’s not, I don’t know, in my opinion, that’s not a huge deal. 

Rylee:
No, I will say my partner is in social work and in the therapy space. And I really appreciate that he’s like, well, you’re also in a new relationship. You’re happy, like you’re, so you’re going to gain some happy weight too. And that’s okay. You know, again, that’s where I’m just trying to see my body neutrally as much as I’m able to. If I can get to the point of celebrating it, that’d be amazing. But in the meantime, I just want to see it neutral, just like, as it not being something that defines me. 

Buffy:
That’s very fair. And I love that, happy weight. You gained happy weight. Yeah. I’m going to start using that. Let him know I’m going to steal that. 

Rylee:
Yes, absolutely. 

Buffy:
So what has your experience been with fatness in the workplace? 

Rylee:
I encountered the most anti-fat rhetoric while working retail. So that was both in college and during the pandemic. My coworkers were always on diets and discussing their sizes. And to avoid being the Debbie Downer, I often just listened as they criticized their bodies piece by piece. Meanwhile, I sat there as a fat woman hearing my mother’s echo through these middle-aged women, realizing they would never want to look like me. And then I always thought the nonprofit sector would be different, but my experience at The Liberal Agenda proved otherwise. My director body shamed me more than any manager before or since. For example, we had a formal ceremony at work and my mother bought me a new dress that made me feel beautiful and comfortable. However, my director told me my cleavage was showing too much of my body. She told me my cleavage was showing too much and my outfit was inappropriate. In reality, my cleavage only looked the way it did when I sat because my stomach pushed my breasts up. Had she worn the same dress, it would likely have been considered modest because she was skinny. Additionally, it took me years to feel comfortable showing my stomach in public. So adding slightly crop shirts to my wardrobe was a big step for me. Unfortunately, my director ruined that as well. She pulled me aside in the parking lot and told me I needed to cover my body more at work, again, claiming I was dressing inappropriately. In hindsight, it was how the shirt showed my stomach that bothered her. Months after I quit, and while she was still the director, she posted nude photos in the bathtub on her public Facebook account to be vulnerable. It was a beautiful post, and I don’t criticize that, but the hypocrisy was glaring. From her, I learned that showing skin was only acceptable if you were skinny. 

Buffy:
Wow. Yeah, and there is so much to unpack there. So for the sake of the listeners, so that you can understand who we’re talking about. So in my last podcast, I referred to this director as That White Woman, right? So we’re talking about the same person here. And, oh my gosh, there’s just so much to unpack. So first and foremost, I can definitely relate to experiences with sitting and listening to people talk about weight and talk about their fatness, and realizing that people just, that looking like me is the worst thing that they could possibly be, essentially, in their opinions. And then it’s funny because people who, especially when they’re thin themselves, right? Like these were always thin people who were making comments like this, but then they would turn around and look at me and be like, oh, you’re beautiful, da, da, da, da, da. This has nothing to do with you. But then go right back to the body shaming, the fat shaming of themselves, which I don’t think that a lot of skinny people realize what that does to the fat people in their lives that they claim to care about, right? And if they don’t care about them, then it’s clearly that much worse. I also want to point out that at The Liberal Agenda, depending on the weather that day in Iowa, it gets very, very hot. In fact, a couple of days ago, it was like in the 90s, but I think the humidity pushed it so that it felt like it was like 110°, 115°, something like that. So, you know, in this office, I mean, we would see people in shorts, we would see people showing a bit of chest and whatnot, and it’s not an uncommon experience for fat people to be told that our bodies are inappropriate. I’m also gonna go ahead and point out that there was no dress code at The Liberal Agenda. And that was specifically because dress codes tend to be discriminatory. So they very specifically got rid of the dress code only to enforce arbitrary dress codes on specific people, right? So just throwing that out there. And I’m sorry that you have that experience. And I didn’t see the photos of That White Woman in the bathtub, and I don’t want to. I did see the photo of you in that dress, and that was a beautiful dress, and you looked beautiful. And I’m sorry that… she probably got jealous of how beautiful you looked and decided to go after you, because let’s be real. 

Rylee:
Thank you, royalty. 

Buffy:
What would you say you have witnessed in the workplace as far as how fat people tend to be treated? So what have you witnessed? 

Rylee:
I’ve seen fat employees ridiculed for how they move and the speed at which they do so. I’ve witnessed them being the butt of everyone’s jokes and getting dress coded because of how their clothes fit their bodies. Most offices are not designed for bigger bodies. So instead of accommodating us, they’d rather we just not be a part of the workplace at all. 

Buffy:
Right, yeah, and that’s very real. And while we’re on the subject of clothing and how they fit fat bodies, we need to bring up here the fact that fat people get gouged. I really, really, really doubt that it takes $40 to $50 more just to add in some elasticity or to add a couple inches more of fabric. But companies pretend as though it does cost that much more, right? And so in order to find clothing that actually fits us and fits us well, you have to have a lot of money to do that. And also in addition to that, fat people actually tend to be forced to work more and to work harder and longer hours for less on average. There is research out there that points to this. So on that note, many fat people, specifically fat women and femmes, report being required to work more hours and harder than their co-workers. Is this something you have experienced or witnessed? 

Rylee:
Yeah. Overall, I would say I haven’t experienced that as much, possibly because most of my managers have been women. However, when I’ve worked under men, I’ve noticed clear favoritism towards male colleagues and thin, attractive women, or in society’s eyes, thin and attractive. They are often the first to be promoted, while the hardest work tends to be done by the most marginalized individuals in the room. 

Buffy:
Yeah. How would you say these experiences have affected you in the workplace, as well as in your personal life? 

Rylee:
My experiences with fatphobia in retail felt like an echo of what I had heard my entire life. As painful as it was, I had grown accustomed to body hatred and could still function at work. However, the nonprofit sector truly messed with my psyche. I believed The Liberal Agenda would be a safe space to explore my whole self. While I would never show up to work inappropriately dressed, I thought this would be the perfect environment to practice the competence I had been manifesting. Through therapy and supportive co-workers, I began to feel comfortable showing parts of my body that I had seen thinner co-workers reveal. My co-worker’s support helped me build the confidence to do so. However, it all came crashing down when the director of The Liberal Agenda continually body shamed me. This was supposed to be a safe person in a safe space, yet I could hear my mother’s critical words echoing again. I’m still recovering from her comments five years later. Now I dress conservatively at work, trying my best to blend in. I’m slowly rebuilding my body positivity, but it’s taking time. 

Buffy:
Yeah. And again, people don’t realize the effects that these sorts of comments can have on people, right? This is why trauma-informed practices in the workplace are so utterly important and so critically important. I’ll also say, I’m so sorry that you have this experience and that it has affected you this much. It’s 100% not fair. The Liberal Agenda is there to, well, purportedly, anyway, there to help folks coming from marginalized communities, right? Which is why I think, you know, both of us thought that we were in a safer space when, you know, That White Woman decided that she didn’t want it to be a safer space for us and that she wanted it to be for her, I suppose. I don’t know. I don’t know what her problem was. I don’t care what her problem was. It just wasn’t okay. So I’m sorry that you’ve dealt with that. And I really hope that you can get back to practicing that at some point when you do feel comfortable, because you deserve to feel comfortable and beautiful in your body, 100%. On that note, while we’re talking about things that should be happening in the workplace, like trauma-informed practices and like, you know, having an HR so that people can have somewhere to go when things like this are happening and when they’re being harassed by their managers, right? What would you say are some practices or policies in the workplace that make this problem worse? 

Rylee:
I would say it’s more about a lack of policies, at least in my experience. Workplaces often fail to prepare for us, both physically and socially. While there are typically harassment policies to address bullying, they don’t create a safe and accommodating environment for us from the outset. It’s more about like, once the problems have already hit and at The Liberal Agenda, we didn’t even have an HR. 

Buffy:
Right, right. So Rylee, despite these experiences, how have you prevailed and what steps have you taken to continue to grow and thrive? 

Rylee: 
Like I said before, surrounding myself with body positive and body neutral folks has helped. I have also set boundaries with people in my life who talk about their bodies more often in a negative light. They know I am not the person to have that conversation with unless they want me to encourage them to embrace their current body. I have to do that for others because that is what I need. I need to embrace my body and celebrate my fatness, not tear myself and other fat people down. Keeping this mindset helps me prevail past the horrible messaging you receive about fat people. I have also recently started reading from fat authors about loving our bodies and our fatness, and that has helped a lot. I’m currently reading, You Just Need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon, and I highly recommend it. 

Buffy:
Ooh! I’m gonna have to check that out. I love getting book recommendations and I hope that my listeners do as well. That’s definitely something I’m going to check out and about the boundary setting: I know that’s right! Good for you!

Rylee:

Thank you. Therapy helps!

Buffy:
100% and actually, you know Boundary setting around fatness. It’s not something that I learned about or that I witnessed until I was in grad school. There was actually a doctoral student Who very specifically who I’m friends with on social media wrote a post saying hey If you are sharing your weight loss journeys Please make it so that I can’t see it because and then she laid down all of the different reasons why It was harmful for her as a fat person to see something like that, right because we get Bombarded with these images and with these messages all the time. And so, you know People on social media have really started doing the work of the diet industries for them for free right and so I am all for the boundary setting and all for Saying to people look this isn’t a conversation that I want to have with you Like can we just move on and talk about something different? So good for you. I just want to say good for you 

Rylee:
Thank you, friend. 

Buffy:
So Rylee, what would you say fat liberation means to you? 

Rylee:
For me fat liberation means a world where body size is viewed as a neutral feature much like I color in This world fat people wouldn’t need to work twice as hard to prove They are not lazy and are just as capable if not more so than their thinner counterparts Our size does not determine our worth I envision a society that makes room for everyone creating spaces that are accessible and inclusive regardless of size or ability. 

Buffy:
I love love that so much and on that note. I’m going to encourage our listeners to dream along with us and to answer that question as well So if you have an idea of what fat liberation should and could look like in our society Dream with us write it in the comments. And yeah, let’s start envisioning what that can look like together Thank you for that Rylee. So What might that look like in the workplace specifically? 

Rylee:
All harassment policies should specifically call out weight discrimination and what it may look like as well as ensuring Employees are aware of and embrace these policies They should design workspaces to accommodate people of all sizes including providing sturdy chairs without arms larger desks and wider pathways Promote a workplace culture that values health and well-being at every size rather than focusing on weight loss and anti fatness Provide resources and programs that support physical and mental health without stigmatizing fatness and mean it Bring in fat speakers to inform employees about body positivity size inclusivity and the impacts of weight stigma educate employees about the importance of respect and inclusivity Encourage the use of respectful and inclusive language when discussing body size and appearance better yet. Do not talk about bodies in the workplace period Absolutely. Do not promote diets or weight loss challenges in the workplace Offer flexible dress code policies that allow employees to wear clothing in which they feel comfortable and confident Provide anonymous channels for employees to report concerns or suggestions related to inclusivity and body positivity Ensuring their voices are heard and addressed. 

Buffy:
Ooh, I Love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. So while we’re on the subject and Talking about dreaming. How about we start talking about some things that can be done right now, right? So what do you think? 

Rylee:
What workplaces and employers can do right at this moment to support their fat employees Workplaces can better support their fat employees by proactively creating an inclusive environment This means ensuring the desks hallways meeting rooms bathrooms and entrances are accessible for individuals of all body sizes Additionally hiring plus-size individuals for leadership and recruitment roles can foster a more diverse and representative workforce It’s also important that marketing materials and the overall workforce reflect the diverse population that we serve 

Buffy:
Yeah 100% I don’t think I could have put that better myself. Honestly. Yeah, I don’t really have anything to add. Thank you for that Thank you 

Rylee:
So what advice do you have for folks who have gone through Experiences like the ones you have gone through If you have a human resources department report incidents of harassment, do not let them go unaddressed, even if you have become accustomed to such treatment, which you should never accept. Others may be experiencing the same or worse from that person, and it often takes multiple reports for HR to take significant action so your voice can contribute to meaningful change. 

Buffy:
100%. Say it one more time for the people in the back. Like, do not accept it. Don’t allow yourself to get used to it. And if you are used to it, start training yourself so that you’re no longer used to it, because nobody should be used to mistreatment. It’s not okay. And I said that multiple times throughout this series, so hopefully it’s starting to sink in, dear listeners. 

What advice would you say you have for fat people in general? 

Rylee:
In general, don’t be afraid to speak up about your needs and comfort, whether it’s at work, in medical settings, or social situations. Your comfort and well-being are top priority. Connect with other fat folks who understand our experiences. Online forums, social media groups, and local meetups can provide valuable support and forever friendships. Wear clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. Do not listen to your mother’s voice echoing in your head. It’s okay and important to set boundaries with people who make negative comments about people’s bodies. If someone ever does so about you, they have shown you their true character. If it’s in the workplace, report them. If it’s in your personal life, don’t feel bad about cutting them off. Protect your mental health and your peace. Build a network of friends, family, and colleagues who respect and support you. Allies can amplify your voice and help create a more inclusive environment. Embrace your body as it is. Celebrate your uniqueness and the things that make you feel good about yourself. Being fat is not an inherently negative thing. Celebrate your fatness if you’re able. Practice self-compassion. Everyone has tough days, but always remember your worth and your strength. And I think most importantly is just take up space and be unapologetic about it. 

Buffy:
Yes. 100%. Yes. I love everything about what you just said and co-sign it 100%. Yes. Yes. We have the right to exist. Fat people have always existed, just like people of color have always existed, just like disabled people have always existed. Like, stop trying to fix us, you know? Just stop trying to fix us, especially when it comes to disabled and fat people. Not that, you know, trying to fix people of color isn’t a thing. We’ve talked about civilizing work before, right? We haven’t exactly talked as much about, you know, cultural appropriation. We haven’t talked as much about when people take photos of us and try to lighten our skin. We haven’t talked about skin bleaching, which is a problem across the world, right? We haven’t talked about all of these different things and how they affect people around the world worldwide. But these are things that need to be talked about as well. All of these different ways and all of these different things that we’re told are wrong about our bodies are not wrong. They just are. They’re variations. And we should embrace those variations. 

So, thank you so much, Rylee, again, for being here and for being brave and for being vulnerable. I know that there are going to be so many people out there who have similar experiences and who are going to benefit greatly from your words and from your leadership in general. So, thank you so much for doing this. And I want to thank the listeners for joining in with me once again. And please join in with me one more time for this series with BCPH. My next post will be about transness and trans people in the workplace. So, I hope that you’ll join me next time and continue the conversation with me. Thank you, everybody.